Each of us has those times when we are vulnerable and weak, those times when even the strongest becomes the weakest of the heart. A time when even the weakest will as though the strongest. There are those moments when we need the best shoulder to lean on, the best person to fight for us. A time when we need the right person we can talk to.
All my life, I have heard of people getting depressed or having emotional heartbreak; however, for a moment, I had never experienced it. I could remember watching the news and seeing people commit suicide because they have heartbreaks, are emotionally down, or let me say, depressed. To me, having emotional problems and reacting badly to it is a possibility that only exists in romantic movies or Telenovelas. I never know eventually, everyone gets their own share of it. When it came knocking, it took me by surprise, and it hit me badly as I was not prepared. Although no one ever gets to prepare for emotional issues that result in depression. However, it really got because I did not believe such a thing exists. Life, they say, can be full of surprises, and things would have been better if we all know what awaits us. I was living each day as it comes, in fact, living it to the fullest. But a time came in my life when all I knew as a source of happiness and joy begin to fade before my eyes. It all looked like a dream, and I started wondering whether it is a normal thing for humans to go through such emotional heartbreak.
The first experience was unexpected; as it turns out, I lost the best thing in my life. And that was my husband; I could remember those happy moments we had together. In fact, I can still relive each moment in my heart once again without missing out on any part. Although the event was bound to happen, I was too positive to face reality on time. George had been battling with cancer for years, and I thought at a point in time, there would be a miracle to save him. He had undergone several surgeries, chemotherapies but cancer remains. I was meant to lose hope, but I kept it all up and never gave up on him even for a moment. The night before he died, George was looking healthy more than before, and I swear I could have asked the doctor to test him to check whether the cancer is still there. Because of some things, I left him there and promised to come to check on him the following morning. However, when I got there the next day, he had been confirmed dead before the night was up. I could not catch my breath; I saw myself collapsing and also the world around me collapsing. That moment, I’d wish to be dead, too; my legs cease to walk, and my legs started failing. I had to spend some weeks in the hospital before finally going home. I hated that George died but what I hated most was not being there at the point of his death. I blamed myself for why I could not be available at a time like that. That regret alone haunted me, and I hated every bit of myself.
If you had followed the story, you might begin to wonder about the importance of a personalized photo gift in such a tragic story. However, the question is, if the best person to comfort us in our sad moments seems unavailable. Who or what do we resort to? This exactly was the situation I found myself in; asides from my parent and a few friends and colleagues at the office, George was the closest I know. He has always been there for me, and I have always been doing the same. After I was discharged from the hospital, I had a lot of people coming around me to comfort me; however, the house still feels empty, and it seems as though I was alone. The best person around me is now gone, and I am just struggling to get the piece of me together. The pain was so much, I was moving from one discussion group to another, I have several counseling and therapies, but I could not heal. I needed the best person, moments, and things to heal me. I got a lot of comfort through words and gift cards, but they were not enough to give me what I want. I wanted to hold George again; I long for those moments, and it’s so painful because I knew I would not be able to experience them again. I began to look for another source of healing, I knew I needed to be myself again, but I could not help it. Then what I thought only existed in novels and romantic movies start becoming a reality for me. I see myself gradually slipping into depression, a time came, and I thought death would be the best way to heal me. And I almost end everything, but something became my saving grace. Something I had thought as insignificant was the last help I had.
The Christmas before George’s death, he asked what I wanted for Christmas, and I told him I wanted our best moments and experiences. It sounds odd at first, but to my surprise, George got what I requested. He gave me a gift of our best moments in pictures made with text; that was my first time seeing such a gift, so I cherished it a lot. Although everything that happened made me forgot, I had such a gift with me. So, for the first time in a long time, I saw the gift again, and I start having some comfort through the gift. I had faced my fears of never going to get George back again, but the moments in the image to text served as a final touch for my healing. A few months later, I was myself again and started enjoying different possibilities of life.